Sunday, December 12, 2010

My Dog will Guard My Place

My Zoe Dog willingly rolls over on her back , spreads her legs and wants me to rub her tummy. I approach this situation with caution. I ask myself, what is in it for her what is in it for me? My dog is not holding a gun to my head, she is not holding me for ransom, she does not require love to live. She gladly accepts my care and attention to her needs - she does not whine or upset my equilibrium to let me give her love. She totally accepts my attention, or lack of. When I look in her doleful eyes, I feel joy and sadness that she willingly accepts my love regardless.

It seems strange that I can deserve the love from an animal.

For all the inabilities that restrict my acceptance of my rightful place on this earth - I never cease to wonder why my pet shows endless obedience and devotion to the 85% bag of liquid that I call me.

I call her 'Little Wolf' because she would sacrifice her life to protect me, but I continually disappoint myself in my efforts to prove that I can even protect myself. I have been so disciplined to accept that I am a subservient to the debilitating training program of the human race, that I momentarily forget my duty to care for for those who become victims of my inability to give love.

Why does it seem so easy to share my heart with an animal when I feel so alienated from the human race? She accepts the fact that I have the ability to kick her around the room like a football, but I know that when she folds hers her ears back - she is scared - and I know that she needs my assurance that everything is OK even though I'm pacing the room as though there are demons pursuing my soul and the end is nigh.

If I were to die comatose on the floor, trying to breathe, spewing up my soul; do I lie here gasping and sucking my last breath through a haze of confusion because of my inability to accept that no one said "thank you".....?

No. There are not many who will appreciate my contribution, and there are not many who will sit with me while I pass away and lick my face while I die.

My Dog does not ask much - in fact she asks nothing at all - except allegiance - she would rather die for my cause than me.

I am continually at a loss to understand why my dog will accept my faults and indiscretions and the human race will not. But I will not relinquish the capacity that I have, to extend my compassion for the inadequacies that I have the inability to control, understand or appreciate.

When I die; I will feel the moist licks of my dog most.

Most of humanity will be to too ready to judge me, or praise me, or condemn me, or pity me, or dip their grubby little paws into the meager goldmine that will pass to my descendants.

My dog, and only my dog, will lie beside me and guard me from predators - she has an innate understanding of how precious I am. She will kiss me and protect me because I gave my life to her.

Even when I am gasping my last breaths and cannot stroke her head as I am dead, my dog will guard and protect what she knows is precious and she will not let you near my stagnant body as I regretfully pass from here to there.

Even when I exit from here - my dog will guard my place.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Every Woman's Guide to Man Training

I am not writing this because I want you to hear. I am writing this because I believe it is right. I will write the truth as I see it; not as other people wish it to be to be seen. (Thank you John Scopes).

No man ever went to war on his own accord - he felt is was his duty.

Neville Chamberlain said, in 1938 - "In war, whichever side may call itself the victor, there are no winners, but all are losers". Neville proudly led Britain into World War II and resigned in 1940 after Germany invaded Norway.

Neville's wife, Anne, married him in 1911. He was already a successful business man and had sincerely expected to remain a bachelor and he often said that he never would have become Prime Minister without her support. Her main claim to fame was that she created a bright border of flowers to replace the drab London shrubs at No.10, Downing Street.

Now I'm not going to go on about the second war because that was the only thing of any significance that happened as a result of the first war, but I wonder what mysteries lurk beneath the motives for all the political maneuverings and human carnage.

As I often do when I am amazed and disillusioned by the incapacity of the human race to prove that it is not actually the 'inhuman race' in its race to prove that it is genuinely compassionate towards its fellow members, I begin to wonder why we bother to wage war.

History shows me that war is traditionally waged to extend or protect geographical boundaries. Every nation has a sovereign right to safeguard its inhabitants and allow them freedom of expression and trade. But why? Most of the physical attributes that delineate the areas of individual trading zones that we so often call countries, were decided hundreds of years ago. Because the threat of military annihilation has manipulated many small countries into subservience, they no longer have the will to improve their situation or the leverage to manipulate a more favourable position.

So it seems that any new wars are not really about physical expansion but more about freedom of expression - and to me that is exactly the situation that mirrors the "Battle of the Sexes".

There was once a popular author who theorised that Men were from Mars and Woman from Venus - I wish to dispute this. Women are not from Venus, that is a myth perpetuated by the propaganda Gods of the War Machine to placate the male model of the humanoid. No they are not from Venus, they aren't even from this solar system. They originate from some deep, dark distant cavern in the outskirts of the Universe called 'Manipulamano'.

Oh oh, I can feel the barbs of the femanoid rising to their defense and I sense their anticipation of the fight and the sweet thrill of satisfaction as they relish the agony they inflict on the manoid as he rides into battle with his balls in his hands and his guard down.

May God help us. He created Man in his own image and then ripped a rib out and created Woman and what did she do? She noticed that she had a few bumps and curves and orifices that were not quite structured in the traditionally accepted form of the breast thumping, ego breathing, dominating, appendage hanging, club swinging, foul smelling, undomesticated, hairy, unkempt version of the dick wielding, hole poking, self centered male beast.

Sometime around about the time when she figured out that the figurative fig leaf was scant protection against the throbbing gristle within the loin cloth it was decreed that if HE wanted IT, he was going to have to work for it. Hey, if you want this sweet little pussy to just roll on her back for a tummy rub, well goddamn it boy - you're gonna' work for it - and that's where the trouble started.

Now she wouldn't admit it and she certainly wouldn't say it but she had suddenly become afflicted with the malady of 'Dickus Envious' - (I'm sure Freud would be proud of me, but I disagree with his opinion that I want to get into my mum's knickers).

It became scathingly obvious to her that it was no longer acceptable to be wined and dined, beaten over the head and dragged off to a cave for a penile peccadillo. Things would have to change damn it. She was getting pretty sick and tired of being a collector gatherer, bending her arse over stupid little berries and vegies and washing loinclothes in the river in the pissing rain. And then she'd go back to the cave, hang a boiling pot of hash over a triangle of burning sticks and prepare to bend her arse over again so that the hairy old bastard could get his rocks off, fall into a restful sleep and disappear the next day into the wilderness to down a few of ales at the local Mammoth Slaying Mud Pit.

There just had to be a better way.

But I digress. What the hell was Annie Chamberlain doing planting pretty flowers when Neville was fighting the battle of his life to save his country. Come to think of it, what the hell was his opponents' current squeeze, Eva Braun, doing in the Bunker while Hitler was watching the size of his potential kingdom shrink as quick as his penis in a mousetrap. Or for that matter, lets go back a few centuries and observe a few other copulating examples of penile servitude and labial mastication. (I hope you're reading this Ms. Greer!).

What the hell was Napoleon Bonaparte thinking when he marched a few hundred thousand soldiers to Moscow, discovered that he probably couldn't get in and promptly turned around and marched his troops back home again - losing about half of them to death from the freezing cold or desertion? You call that man a conqueror - crap! He only had one thing on his mind : prove to that sweet little bitch, Antoinette, that his dick really could be massaged by his hand in his breast pocket because he was Emperor of the world! And the poor sucker died of lead poisoning - yeah sure - died from severe penile swelling caused by too much lead in his pencil because she wouldn't give over.

But I digress - again. The point is (and I admit the some of the facts as they are alleged to be, are deliberately distorted to protect the innocent), that I question what were the lovely beaus of these manly man weapon wielders were doing to the poor guys heads in the meantime.

It's strange that there are no armies comprising of women. Females don't appear to be sociologically inclined to band in groups, wield weapons and plunder, pillage and rape just to prove how tough they are - but they'd sure as hell be mean mother fuckers every fourth week. Many military complexities would occur when at any one time roughly 25% of them decided they just wanted to lie down and have a cup of tea and then at a moments notice, want to rip your balls off!

That's part of the beauty of the female race - they are just so unpredictable. But, beware, they have learned to compensate by exerting their biological mood swings in a manner that undermines the entire future of the male species.

Men need to be aware that they are the hapless victims of a sinister plot secretly waged by women to undermine their authority and their usefulness. Do not be distracted by the media hype declaring that men will soon become obsolete in their biological role as implanting seeds for their offspring - that is a clever ploy to encourage men to find new ways to entertain women to perpetuate the myth that they actually care about us.

Men have become subservient to the female aura - the mystery of the female orgasm has fostered the desire to prove that they can satisfy the female libido.In fact my research leads me to believe that men are inclined to believe that women are directly controlled by their regular biological and physical circumstances, that they are in fact slaves to their primitive genetic urge to seek out the best mate and reproduce - and that is all there is, everything else is an illusion.

An illusion! I hear you say - no surely not? Come on guys get your dick out of your hands and have a look around you. I'll summarize the schedule in point form as we follow the growth of the female from birth to death :

All babies cry when they are born only because they get a slap on the bum. Boys enjoy it - like "hey cool, I passed out for a bit - let's party". Girls cry because you disturbed their nap.

Little girls at kinder get jealous that they've got nothing to play with between their legs.

Little older girls at primary school wear dresses because they want to be able to show you (very quickly) that their knickers look real pretty.

Bigger little girls at secondary school have noticed the attention men give their mothers and mimic the preening, prancing, attention seeking habits their aging, strung-out, sexually frustrated role models exhibit.

At puberty, the mother lode take their innocent charges aside and relieve the stress of discovery of regular lunar inspired bleeding for the majority of their lives by delivering the news that they must be nice to find a nice man to breed with and have nice kids.

(Woops - that should be enough - where do the sweet innocents go from here?)

Suddenly, those lovely legs look even better with less knickers.

The discovery that she actually had the ability to restrict and regulate his copulating by feigning embarrassment over such a yucky thing as blood and such a silly thing as a headache.

The realization that multiple orifices seem to excite the male for no apparent reason offered a whole range of possibilities for male exhaustion and female multiplicity that do not lead to pregnancy but actually increase their status as playthings.

Awareness that boys like toys and seem to have control of their lives and girls can satisfy a demand that boys are willing to pay for.

The availability of sex toys that bypass the need for real penile penetration.

"Gee. I only have to open my legs and be able to cook a good meal and he'll do anything for me".

"Cool, I can stay home all day, not actually having a job and he will slave at the Mammoth Pit all day, make money, take me out, be polite just so he can slip that silly train in my tunnel and blow off some steam"

Pregnancy swells them to the size of a blithering, waddling, deformed, ugly, moody, baby mammoth and they wonder if they are still desirable.

After childbirth, the body does not quite return to its normal shape and it is suddenly apparent that there are other female predators taking an interest in their sperm store.

The post child female enrolls in the "Other Mothers Gossip Club" which is actually a pseudonym for "Lets Get Together and Share Stories of How I Fucked Over My Neanderthal Tosser For a Fortune Club" which is really a secret club called "Time for Another Drinkies Darling".

Lonely, sexually frustrated middle aged female pulls out all stops to recapture her youth by spending enough money on cosmetics, massages, joggers and lycra pants to put an entire generation of Nigerians through Medical School.

Consumption of alcoholic beverages increases to the point that her obstetrician starts wearing beer glass goggles so that she feels comfortable.

Suddenly it's no longer necessary to be a bitch because of the monthly cycle - now it's just good enough to be a bitch because they can.

And the most blessed thing of all - the dick wielding, chest beating behemoth doesn't realize that after working all his life for HER, he's going to die first, leaving her a vast fortune, house, car and retirement fund and complete unfettered access to all his desperately horny rich friends.

(Now that's a Wildlife Species Special I really wanna' see David Attenborough do!)

But I digress again. Although I still find it legally fascinating that you do more time in a personal prison for Divorce than you do in a real prison for Murder.

Are you beginning to see where this is heading - maybe not, okay.

Just remember one thing - there is a place in the universe that not many men understand, it is a place were few have the courage to go and few have had the opportunity to visit and return from unscathed. It is a place of confusion and delusion, a realm of deceit, a scene set for a disaster, a place where only the brave man will venture for fear of castration, and a place in a space that is a woman's place - and she wants it all.

And now I will take you back to the the swinging watch and listen to my commands. When you awake, everything will be better once you listen to this:

Male and Female do no longer exhibit the accepted anthropological traits of Hunter, Gatherer, Collector, Nurturer (Margaret Mead - eat your heart out). We are now from here on in, only classified in TWO categories : Trainer and Fetcher.

The male has become a willing participant in the female training programme. Men are being trained to obey. Women don't really know what they want - all they know is that from the moment they are born, they don't have something men have - a PLAYTHING. So to compensate for their ignorantly self perceived deprivation they practice a game of manipulation and control. Face it, every girl wants to be a boy because he can DO things and GET things that she cannot conceive of and doesn't know how to get.

A women will spend her life not knowing what she really wants (she's not quite sure of her place in the world - evidenced by her obsession with cosmetic and fashion imagery and illusion). But she will spend an inordinate amount of time and energy searching for things that she thinks she might want.

The 'Man Training' programme is her way of controlling any situation to her advantage so that if, just on the off-chance that she finally does see something that she does want, the man who is so desperately clutching her bosom will not even question his motives, but instantly come to attention, chase and retrieve, just like a well trained pet.

Of course the root of the problem still remains nevertheless. She does not know what she wants, but as long as she has trained a man to fetch it, he will keep on fetching and providing even though it's not really necessary. Instinctively, his dick needs a home - and she knows it.

Now I am well aware that many will think that this all nonsense and I have no idea what I'm talking about. Well I am going to sum this all up with one example that I want Men and Women to think about.

When a man goes to stand and relieve himself in the toilet bowl, and the household members are also female; he instinctively knows (through diligent training) that he must lower the seat for the next delicate female derriere to comfortably position itself thereon in such a manner so that she will not soil her pretty little fingers by touching any part of the urinal lid or seat.

Well, f..k you princess, there's a new game in town, and you, bitch is gonna' learn it.

When a man goes for a piss, it doesn't matter if he splashes or squats, sprays or prays - all he's gotta' do afterwards is PUT THE SEAT DOWN AND THEN THE LID. The point being that she is now going to lift the lid herself - MAKE THE BITCHES WORK FOR IT. (she's going to have to DO something for HERSELF).

Besides which, you're covered dude. You put the lid down for hygiene purposes and you don't know who will be there next. This is ANTI-DISCRIMINATORY. Men should no longer be treated as lesser equals.I don't wanna put the seat down any more - "you freakin' do it". Goddamn it - I've never seen a female put the seat UP for me!

But, I digress again.

My point is that I need to remind you about the War, any Wars, all Wars. I don't think that Anne Chamberlain was really that happy with her garden out the front of No. 10 Downing Street. In fact, she probably wasn't really happy with the wedding ring, or the car, or the school the kids went to, or the fucking silver tea set, or her pissant (sic) husbands profession or handling of the country. No way was she happy with anything, but she knew she could be happier if she could get what she thought she wanted and she knew she had just the man to do it for her.

I can almost hear Barbara Bush whispering in hubbies ear - "I want Iraq". What the hell was Helen of Troy thinking, or Cleopatra or Mrs. Genghis Khan or Mrs. Stalin thinking, or Cherie Blair or Janette Howard or any of the other thousands of females who stood silently behind their powerful partners succinctly whispering sweet juicy promises of endless passion and devotion in return for a seat on the observation deck on the sinking stinking ship of greed.

Big things start off little. It doesn't take long for a female to realise that if a man can get her a bunch of flowers, he can get her a bunch of diamonds. If he can get her a piece of land and build a house, he can get her a country or few and all the chattels attached and maybe even an empire.

Female intuition is an amazing thing but their ability to survive, thrive and dominate is a terrifying thing - God help any man who incurs her wrath.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

This comment by Goblinono originally appeared in response to "What Does Beethovens Ninth Symphony Mean?" published at -

"The little deaf fella' who pumped out this masterpiece on a piano with no legs had long admired the overtures of Scottish songsters. Beethoven was never comfortable with the resonance of the human voice and wrote this to be presented so near the top of the vocal range that it tends to outwit the performers. His inspiration was from poetry by Friedrich Schiller and he was probably trying to depict scenes of rapturous romance attuned to chaos and arousal. Unfortunately he died whilst working on his tenth symphony, which may have surpassed all his previous works because by now he was determined to overcome the restrictions of popular tonal laws. In considering his musical development he may well have topped himself trying to depict orgasm as his crowning achievement"

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

A Mathematical Twist

This is Goblinono's response to an article "A Mathematical twist on the Fermi Paradox" from Discovery News at this address -

"Considering that our existence on this planet is probably the result of a random event that was a legacy of all the evolving forces of the universe, mathematically our existance should not exist in the realm of probability but in the realm of improbability. If we consider the size of the universe, its age and the direction of light travel (that depends of course on whether the universe is expanding or contracting!) and then factor in all the information about the universe that we are not yet privy to because of our young age and limited technology we may find that we are in fact THE ONLY incidence of a chance occurence in this great cosmological melting pot. The odds of this happening are incedibly high - and it seems to me that if the odds are so against this chance event, then we probably are THE ONLY civilization to have occured as a random event.

The essence of probability theory was developed in the 1600's from a partnership between a gambler (de Mere) and 2 mathematicians (Pascal and de Fermat) and it was postulated that if an event had a lesser chance than one in a hundred, then it probably would not happen.

There is also a mathematical problem presented by the 'inspection paradox' - the probability distribution of a quantity that has already started its life is shifted, leading to a larger average than would otherwise be expected. For example : when you wait for a bus, the distribution of bus interarrival times has already started.

In other words - if you were an apple in a bunch of apples inside a spinning bag hung from the ceiling it would be hard to be objective about your position unless you removed yourself from the bag - and then you would no longer be included in the sample you were studying - so the odds have changed yet again!"

Monday, October 11, 2010

Launch their Hearts

This is a comment posted by Goblinono in response to an article "Brain Freezer claims secret of Eternal Life' at -

"Sure sounds like a high-tech facility - rusting warehouse, a table as steps! If you freeze a body today and then defrost it, all you will have is an unfrozen body - there is not necessarily any signs of life because the body is much like a machine that transports the brain and houses the soul. There are theories that the human body weighs around 20 grams less after death - some say that is the weight of the soul, though I would suggest that is the weight of moisture leaving the body. Does anyone really want to be re-born in the future without a soul or spirit - do you really want to take the chance of living in a man made hell and exhibiting the mindlessness of a clone or a zombie? You can't just "launch their hearts", there is more to human life than just a beating heart!"

Friday, 2 July 2010, 1:04:07 PM

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Nature's Pressure Cooker

I continually maintain that mother nature will keep seeking ways to right the imbalance the human plague of consumption is causing this planet.

It is interesting that this 'silent' event comes at a time of increasing global natural disturbances such as the explosion of Eyjafjallajokull, unusual weather disturbances, increasing seismic activity in unusual places and the blowout and subsequent capping of the oil well in the Gulf of Mexico.

This may not be a fortuitous event, but natures way of addressing the damage we are doing to the ecological stability (internally and externally) of this planet - our home.

It seems as though we are now living on a giant pressure cooker that is about to blow off excess forces that we cannot foresee, do not understand and cannot stop.

If this event happens every 300-900 years and the last was supposedly in 1700, we are already within the window of opportunity, or miss-opportunity (if that's the word?). Maybe now is the time to take your long service leave!

*(This is a comment by an enraged goblinono in response to an article titled "Seattle's Ongoing 'Silent Quake' lends Clues to the Big One" at :: -

Sex in Politics

Oh come on - gimme' a break. Isn't politics all about personality. Since when did you actually believe that you were really voting for agenda change. All that really differentiates a politician from a thief is the method of extracting money from your wallet.

Ambrose Bierce wrote : "A politician is an eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organised society is reared. When we (sic) wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive."

But then again; seeing as it's so hard to differentiate between different shades of illusion (ie: crap) maybe it really is now only about who really looks the best. And why not - wouldn't you rather get f....d over by someone who looks really good!

By the way - I have this great pic (widely circulated via email) of Sarah Palin taking it in the way of 'An American tradition since 1776'. - ( use that as a campaign poster and watch her popularity rise) !

*Send me your address if you really wanna see how a politician should be treated and I'll send you the pic.

*(This is a comment by goblinono in reply to an article titled "The Most Sexist Add, well, Ever"
at :: -

The Moon is Cheese

Of course it's shrinking you silly person you! The first comprehensive analysis of the moon rocks returned from the first missions likened their physical composition to that of cheese.

It's sorta' like leaving the refridgerator door open for too long - the light stays on (just like the sun) and the cheese that was once fresh and compact, looses its moisture and shrivels, drys and cracks.

Those scarps are evidence of the drying process - and you all know what happens when your cheese shrinks - it dries and cracks apart. Eventually you end up with lots of little cheeses and thats exactly what's going to happen to our moon - we will end up with lots of moons!

You better start re-assessing your impressions of the impact of climate change when you suddenly don't have one orbiting body to regulate our tides and weather patterns but many much smaller orbiting bodies - or just maybe - none at all, because they are all going to be sucked down to earth by the force of gravity - sorta' like a meteorite shower.

As the saying goes - "you can't have your cheese and eat it too".

Sorta' proves that we really are just a bunch of rodents infesting the planet !

*(This is a comment posted by goblinono about an article titled "The Moon is Shrinking like a Wrinkled Apple") at :: -

A George Orwell Prophecy

Thanks 1bobcohn (Twitter) for the link to an article about surveillance of prisoners but I suspect there is a lot more to this than meets the eye, or ears, or ankles.

Prisons have become a big business ( I forget the name of the company that is a major stakeholder in airlines, credit cards, security and prisons all over the world - Google knows!) but I don't think that private enterprise controlling convicted criminals is a fair deal.

It is not "mandatory minimums' and 'draconian 3 strike rules' that place people in prisons for the safety of society, but big business interests that are feeding off the paranoia of the 'climate of fear' foisted on the the public since the debacle of 9/11. It seems easier for government to pass their problems onto private enterprise than actually address the factors that are leading to total cultural collapse of our society.

I don't fall for the spin that this process 'cuts crime', 'reduces costs' and aids management of our penal colonies. What is does is fulfill George Orwell's prophecies of "1984" - we are coming under increasing observation and recording of our activities, innocent or not, and we are slowly being indoctrinated to accept this as normal - it is not! It is an infringement of our rights.

Why don't we try doing something useful with our penal colonies if they are so overcrowded and unmanageable - like send them to desolate places on the planet to develop failed communities or wasted resources. Set them to work repairing the damage the vampire corporates do as they suck the resources and life out of this planet.

Why not put them all to sea on floating prison farms that scour the planet as mobile fix-it crews. Better still, why not just pack 'em all off to that 'Great Floating Pacific Garbage Patch' and set them to work for that Dutch group 'WHIM Architecture' to help fulfill that dream of turning all that floating rubbish into a compact artificial island.

Don't send 'em home alone where they can do drugs, don't get 'em behind walls busting up rocks and beating out car license plates - get them out recycling refuse and doing housework around the planet!

*(This is an essay dribbled by goblinono in response to an article titled "Prisons Without Walls" at :: -

Thursday, June 17, 2010

US discovers untapped mineral deposits

US finds vast mineral reserves in Afghanistan.

The United States of America has found a new source of wealth, but not in the bank and not within its borders. It has been on a mission to claim the new honeypot under the guise of war.

In Kabul, Afghanistan, Government Officials sound heavily optimistic about their new found mineral wealth which, if the US has it's way, will soon end the the popular Taliban pursuit of what I will refer to as 'poppy power'.

With the intent of uncovering the facts and presenting them for public debate, the SCZITDAMN investigative journal sent their intrepid reporter, Spirukas Goblinono to the location.

Unfortunately, the brief that he had prepared became lost in translation, but we have managed to retrieve many crumpled and stained notes from the debris of his bombed apartment.

What follows is the exact transcript of his personal interpretation of interviews and articles that have appeared in the media over the last few days.

Q: The US has discovered nearly $A1.17 trillion in untapped mineral deposits?

A: I thought the US military was there to find Osama bin Laden, (remember him - a bloke with a beard, wears a sheet and celebrates his success of destroying those two tall posts in New York like almost a decade ago, by whizzing around his underground lair hooked to 3 life support machines that follow him around like shopping trolleys). Um, how come he only releases 2 videos a year and never looks any older - is it Aloa Vera?

Q: This may fundamentally alter the Afghan economy and perhaps the Afghan war?

A: Is their really a war here? Didn't the 3 superheroes, George W, Tony the Pom and Little Johnny unite to fight the axis of evil in some other desert called Iraq? They managed an amazing fireworks display and allowed pillaging of thousands of years of antiquities from the museums. But damn it, they couldn't find that pesky Osama (even though the Taliban originally offered him to Uncle Sam but their offer was declined) so they staged the destruction of a civilization as a red herring so they could sneak off elsewhere.

Q: How will it alter the economy?

A: Well, the Ministry of Commerce has calculated that if divided equally, each man woman and child would receive approximately $40,344.80. This is a good thing because everyone would be able to purchase a really good second hand Skoda, a Kalashnikov with 1000 rounds, a couple of pounds of pure poppy power and a years supply of Vodka. Unfortunately, once the Vodka's finished, the party's over so this sharing is not such a good idea. I suggest that if it takes 5 to 10 years before the country could begin to use the reserves they should probably not share it, but invest it with a reputable firm like Goldman Sachs where it can be quickly converted into a credit card system that will be shared with Afghans. Of course this means than no one gets anything because their economy will quickly follow the Zimbabwe principle and your 40 odd grand won't even buy you tyres for the Skoda before you even finish your first vodka.

Q: The deposits include huge veins of iron, copper, cobalt, gold and lithium - which seems to cover just about everything we need for manufacturing, money and power?

A: See, the US is well prepared, because the mineral wealth was found by a small team of Pentagon officials and American geologists. But this is not one of the small teams who are getting kissy cuddly with all the kids in an effort to bring harmony to the disrupted culture. Nor is it one of those small teams sneaking around looking for Osama and eradicating innocent families. No, this is one of those small teams specially organized by companies like Halliburton, Monsanto and Santos who really only have their best interests at heart and just want to screw a teat onto the bottle of your wealth and suck it dry.

Q: President Hamid Karzai and the Afghan Government have recently been briefed on the situation but they believe that the wealth may be underestimated by as much as 30%?

A: As P.T. Barnum (the great showman and salesman) put it: "there's a sucker born every minute". Well, this is how the briefing went:
"OK dudes, it's like this. We found this shit, rich shit in your land, but remember, we found it. You do not have a developed mining industry, and your national mining laws have never faced a serious challenge, (which our mates at the World Bank helped you write). You have never had a well developed heavy industry and you have virtually no history of environmental protection and the size of the deposits dwarf the size of your war ravaged economy. Now we know you wanna play ball so why don't you let us be your police, after all we've already got heaps of troops here and they're getting a little bored and wanna' go home - hey this place is an oasis, once we rebuild it with our privately contracted mercenaries".

Q: But instead of bringing peace, the newly found mineral wealth could lead the Taliban to battle more fiercely to regain control of the country?

A: Well there is already enough corruption rampant in the current government which will probably be amplified because of some very well connected oligarchs that have personal ties to the president. And endless fights could erupt between provincial and tribal leaders over mineral wealth within their districts. Jesus mate, (sorry), I mean Mohammad mate, get with the program - that's exactly all you've had for hundreds of years anyway, now's it's going to be better, (remember, the US has successfully raped El Salvador, Nicaragua, Honduras, South Africa, Grenada, Guatemala, Vietnam, Cambodia, Iran, Iraq, the Philippines, lots of other small indiscriminate countries and anyone else with their economic pants down; as well as it's own citizens for hundreds of years - why stop now)?
We have the troops here, we have the geologists here, we have the officials here, we are protecting your land for you and we have found your wealth and we want a share of it. Now, if you say no to our offer, we are taking our bat and ball and going home, and if we do, your sniveling little country will quickly revert to the poppy based economy and you'll never get your Skodas and your pathetic gross domestic product that is currently only about $18 billion will quickly shrink until your profits will fit comfortably in a camels ball bag.

Q: The Pentagon Task force has already started trying to help the Afghans set up a system to deal with mineral development.

A: We have taken the liberty of hiring international accounting firms that have expertise in Mining Contracts (our people of course) and technical data that is being prepared will be handed over to multinational mining companies and potential foreign investors. Of course we took this liberty because we just don't feel that that your peasant desert culture is organized enough to make wise decisions regarding our personal vested interests in your country.

Q: The Pentagon is helping Afghan officials arrange to start seeking bids on mineral rights by the next US Autumn.

A: No, I'm sorry, that is definitely a misprint. You do not understand the situation. You should be prepared to be raped. Your pants are down and we have emptied your wallet and you certainly aren't wearing protection! We led you to believe Osama is in your country hiding in a cave. Wrong! We unplugged his dialysis machine years ago, he's a vegetable on wheels, sorta' looks like a turnip - he ain't playing Mr. Potato Head no more.

P.S: Our editor has confirmed the last question is in fact a misprint.
The Pentagon actually is helping Afghan officials arrange to start seeking bribes (not bids) on mineral rights by the next US Autumn.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Marijuana for Dopes?

A Comment:

Thank you for an interesting article. I received a link to this via Twitter and the timing is auspicious.

It confirms something I already suspected.

I have been smoking cannabis for 35 years and have recently had to give it up because I just was not getting enough sleep. It was actually making me smoke more to try and get stoned and I was depriving myself of sleep awaiting a bigger hit - but it never came!

But what I have also noticed is that the effects of the new breeds of marijuana do not really get me as stoned as I used to get many years ago. It actually heightens awareness of my surroundings but no longer opens the doors of perception. It also seems to have a delayed 'trigger effect' that manifests itself as an emotional discomfort and makes me want more, about 18 hours later.

Yet, the strange thing is, I can still smoke most people under the table, and just have to laugh at all those younger people who say they can't have more than 3 or 4 without passing out or going to sleep.

What many people don't know, or remember, is the great effects of really good dope.

Unfortunately, they probably never will because whilst the lawmakers have been encouraging debate on the issue they still refuse to actually take a concerted stand.

And they refuse to take a stand because they are quite happy to have a large portion of the population totally doped out, happy and complacent, uncommitted and uncaring, whacked out of their tiny brains, with only one thing on their minds - scoring their next bag!

This all contributes to the despairing state of our current uncaring, apathetic society.

So I found my own answer. After fighting psychosis, depression,sleep deprivation, nightmares and bouts of insecurity, I decided to stop being a Canniboholic and become an Alcoholic. Which is quite ironic considering that the only thing that ever kept me away from alcohol, was marijuana, and there aren't many drugs I haven't imbibed since I was 18 years old.But you know what? Now I have got my appetite back, now I want to go to sleep because I am naturally exhausted from dealing with all the crap that I used to just ignore because I was too stoned to care.Now I have a point of view, and I'm awake to the stoners.

Dope is for dopes. The growers know it and the politicians know it and the police know it because it's quite a pleasant little money spinner for them and it helps to keep the smokers all in line - because they're too stoned to care, and in that condition - no one is gonna' rock the boat.

A reply:


Calm down son, it'll be OK. It seems like you may have had a few bad experiences that you attribute to marijuana smoking. But, let's be fair to all the other smokers and tokers out there - you were probably going to have a bad trip no matter what drug, legal or otherwise, that you used.

Face it, some people can't handle reality, some can't handle drugs and some can't handle alcohol in a responsible manner. You need to ask yourself, which group do you belong to?

It's not fair to go slinging off at other people just because they have a habit or an addiction and you've also managed to cast rather a large net to capture and highlight your prejudices.

Yes, I am well aware of the theory that dope smoking causes psychosis but I am also aware of a few other things:

People who are inherently introverted seek solace in marijuana use because it tends to reaffirm their identity and gives them a place of harmony to nurse themselves,

and, there is evidence to suggest that those persons who are predisposed to excessive use suffer from heightened anxiety,

but,there are also people who are drawn to dope because they already suffer from problems of insecurity and paranoia and it alleviates the symptoms,

then, only later do they realize that their problems have not been fixed, only heightened by regular usage not to mention all the people who need to smoke marijuana because it keeps them away from all the other addictive substances so easily available from a local GP, a local bottle shop or a local drug dealer.

Some people actually do use it for relaxation or sleep therapy, as well as a medication used for pain relief.

However, I think I hear where you are coming from with your reference to "dope is for dopes". What you might be saying is that you regret your long term usage and now realize that your self-medication may not have really helped your situation.

You may also aware of how the dope culture has changed since the hippy hey-days, especially with the proliferation of more potent dope caused by genetic engineering, cross pollination and use of strange chemicals in the growing process, and the repeated overuse of bad seed stock.

Finally, I would just like to say, that if all else fails you should be surrounding yourself with good friends, dogs and the beautiful things in life - but not drugs!

I wish you good luck.

Here is a link to the aforementioned article:

Monday, March 29, 2010

I Twit Therefore I Am

"I think therefore I am".

Rene' Descartes said that.

What was that about?

Maybe Rene' was a little concerned about the justification for his existence. It didn't seem sensible to him that as a living creature he was indistinguishable from animals and amoeba purely because religious dogma dictated that he was one of God's created creatures and therefore subject to the same laws that reduced all creation to subservience.

He believed that the only difference between all other living creatures and humanity was that he had the ability to make decisions. This, and this alone separated him from the fate that awaited all descendants of the Garden of Eden.

As a man, he concluded that he was able to consider choices and make decisions based on HIS assessment and understanding of all the facts the universe presented to him. To his chagrin, he decided that HE, and he alone was responsible for his destiny and not GOD.

Flip forward almost 360 years and witness the embodiment of that ideal.

"I Twit therefore I am."

Which just begs me to ask : What is a Twit ?

And, just for the record; may I say that no Google's were harmed or accessed during this experiment - all this information is obtained from BOOKS. (remember them, the things that Ray Bradbury so highly praised in "Farenheit 451")!

To Twit................To Do...............What?

Twit is the verb of Twat.

What is a Twat?

A Twat is a word derived from the old Norse language. In its original context it conveyed an image of a forest clearing. It came to mean a cut through a swathe, as in a gash in the bush.

In fact, you wont find it in most dictionaries because it's sort of a dirty word.

A twat soon came to mean a description of the predominate female sexual organ.

And yet, an alternative meaning of the word is a reference to an idiot or imbecile.

In fact, Benny Hill often used it in his dialogues.

But I hear your say; "how can you put a reference to an imbecile as pertinent to Descartes?"

Well, I say; "purely because I can."

If you have a better reason to justify your existence, please; I wanna' know about it!

You spend so much time trying to get your message out, that you don't have time to listen to what anyone else is saying.

Face it dude. You are just one of many who post a cry in the wilderness, and all you are going to hear is an echo.

No one is really listening - you just like to think they are - you justify it by saying "I think therefore I am".

Hey man, get a life.

Do you think anyone really cares. Nup. Not me, not you, not a god, not a dog.

No one really cares about anything unless it is something they can take off you.

Rene' had already figured that out.

He was damned sure that he was going to BE.

He wasn't gonna' be 'Mister Goody Two Shoes' just so he could be nice to everyone and win friends, die happy, be placed in a pine box and get eaten by worms. Shit no! The afterlife was not the answer. He wanted to make a stand NOW. No pussyfootin' around, no countin' your eggs before they're hatched.

Goddamn, there is no afterlife!

Rene' was not not going to live in fear of the Lord. He was not going to be indoctrinated to acquiesce to a far greater being and succumb to the power of the 'almighty."

Hell no. He was a man, and proud of it! This was exactly what made him distinct from divinity.

He carried the eternal burden of Adam and Eve's fornication and as far as he was concerned - it was fun.

How dare God intervene in his madness. It was his choice. Isn't that exactly the purpose that God had placed him here for - To make decisions!

How dare God and others judge, because they claim the right to possess an ability to understand and to know the wrath of the lord.


There, I said it.

Be gone with you Beelzebub. Come into the temple and cast the money makers aside!

I dare you.


Oh Gee. I'm still waiting - where the hell are you -did you miss the train?

Thesaurus is the new God, not Google, not Geeks.

Please refer to your dictionaries -

TWIT : ass, berk, clown, divvy, halfwit, idiot, nerd, nurd, nitwit, numskull, numbskull, pillock, prat, schmuck, ,simpleton, wally, (or, as many would say: you stupid c..t).


(posted by an idiot. Bless you all. The Year of Our Lord, 2010)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Mona Lisa - Leonardo's Enigmatic Smile

*In 1956, US psychologist Leon Festinger became instantly famous by giving us "cognitive dissonance" - the theory that humans could not tolerate two conflicting perceptions; one would have to go!

Besides the possibility that Mona was probably Leonardo's lover and the fact that she has no eyebrows, she is also possibly one hell of a bitch because she presents a problem that begs to be answered by many men: "How does she know where I am?"

May I present - The Mona Lisa. Leonardo's enigmatic smile. A work of art that challenges our perceptions.

The Mona Lisa is a portrait where the object in the art is NOT supposed to be the point of view.

Looking at her eyes as she looks at me, I notice that I cannot focus on any particular eye whilst observing them as a pair.

Her gaze is directed at me but looking past me, to somewhere beyond. Each time I look at her eyes as if to engage her in conversation, I discover that I can never be far enough away from her or close enough to her. There seems not to be a place where her focal point meets my attention.

In fact, her gaze makes me feel uneasy.

It is not the uncomfortable feeling left by her knowing, cheeky smile and the false comfort it leaves, but the discomfort I feel because I am unable to focus on her gaze.

I keep flicking my eyes back and forth between her eyes as if trying to get her attention.

So I decide that the portrait delivers its message in two ways and for two different reasons. I am overwhelmed by the physical challenge and compromised by the mental perception of reality presented to me by her gaze.

Whilst watching her face I am almost hypnotized to dream, because my attention will never hold while I am so busy trying to get her attention. That is what is so enigmatic. The painting attracts me because I keep trying to get HER attention instead of giving her MINE.

To actually look at her face I need to try to locate the viewing triangle of body language - the familiar habit of looking at a person's face during conversation, that is, the inverted facial pyramid of eyes-nose-mouth.

But then I notice the unreality of the situation. I am trying to engage in dialogue with this woman and I am not able to get her attention. Does not this seem a strange way to look at a painting?

Yes it is, and that is exactly why Leonardo painted it like that - to compromise your sensibilities.

As I look at the portrait, I keep trying to get her attention, but the way she gazes back at me makes my eyeballs flick left and right as I constantly try to make eye contact.

By merely observing the portrait, I am drawn into a semi-conscious spiral of awareness that flips me back and forth between EMOTION and REACTION, and that demanding mental exercise continually threatens to break my concentration.

Which of course, begs the question. How did Leonardo paint the eyes to send such a powerful message?

The answer lies within the realm of geometry!

Here is how he did it!

The pair of eyes is actually composed of two pair of eyes. Each eye is seen as one of a pair, but not belonging to the pair in the painting. They belong to TWO pair of eyes but they do not belong with each other.

The portrait is painted as if the model posed twice, on each occasion looking in the same direction but with a different point of focus. It is as if she first looks at Leonardo and then focuses on a point just short of him, and then switches her gaze to focus on a point just past him.

The artist then composes the face as a left/right montage of the eyes.

The eyes seem to look in my direction but also seem to look neither beyond me or before me. The instant I try to discover how she is looking at me, my attention is diverted as I try to look for her point of view and and ask of just where or what is her focus.

I begin to feel that she is not quite looking at me and I become worried as to why I cannot seem to get her attention. In fact, the portrait has got my attention because the observer becomes the observed. It is the paradox of this point of view that my mind tries to reconcile.

It is impossible for me to be physically far enough from, or close enough to the portrait to be in a position to look at the focus in her pair of eyes.

The enigmatic smile is a puzzle, a conundrum. The perfect cognitive dissonance.

It confuses my perceptions and it prompts me to ask myself where I must be positioned to actually be within the focal distance of her gaze at the moment she sees me.

The question of the puzzle is to consider 'points of view' as perceived by the artist:

* The eyes seem to follow me because each of them is looking elsewhere.

* The difficulty of perception is that I cannot look at her or into her eyes as I would a live person and that she is purposely depicted in this manner.

* The observer must keep moving, physically and mentally, to or from the picture in order to meet her gaze (is she looking 'this' way or 'that' way)?

The method to solving the puzzle is:

* The observer must find the POSITION of the ARTIST as he was when he painted. That is, the exact place he was when he caught her focus.

The answer to the puzzle is another question:

* How far away from the picture hanging on the wall do I have to be to catch the gaze of both eyes simultaneously?

That is why the portrait is so small - Leonardo is observing HER catch HIS attention from a great distance.

The observer is me. I am the point of view and Mona Lisa is asking where I am!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Why are you wearing a seatbelt ?

Why are you wearing a seatbelt ?

Because you're scared.

Why are you scared ?

I don't know, but you probably have your own reasons.

Well that's very fine, but really, please ask yourself, why are you scared ?

Are you scared of dying...........I certainly hope not !

Are you scared of living...........I certainly hope not !

So, what choice do you have ?

I don't have any choice, because the reasons to choose have been taken from me.

And the reason is ?...........I'm scared !

Good, that's a cool reason to be scared but what are you really scared of ?

Gee, I'm not sorta too sure ? - but I think it's something to do with the way I was bought up.

Excuse me ?

You say............bought up !

Are you saying you really mean to say that you were "bought"; does that mean you were "bought" here? and someone payed the price ?

Are you sure you were "bought" and not "brought".

There is a difference between being owned and being yourself.

Let's face the reality of the situation - go on, own up, you only know the reality of your own situation, no one else does !

What the fuck else did you expect ?

You are scared.

You are scared because you are trying to adhere to the rules.

What rules ? I hear you say !

The rules you accepted because you let other people make rules for you.

You wear a seat belt only because you are scared of your life !

It is synonymous with allegiance and ownership.

But excuse me, I'm a little concerned about being owned, can you explain that ?

Yes. What ever happened to you ?

Do you really have any choices ?

Hey dude, you didn't even have a choice to be here.

You're just some sperm that got lucky and got fertilized. So what makes you think you are so important ? You coulda' been some dried up bit of creamy white shit on a blanket !

Hell, get a life !

And may I ask what makes you feel important ?

Well, I seem to think that I matter because I have kids, but I really can't justify it more than that.

Wot ! Is that all ?

Yeah, sure, having kids is great. I can pass on my knowledge into the future and ensure a better future for mankind.

Wake up and smell the roses dude.

You were owned.

Face it. Someone fucked you over and you think that the best way to protect yourself is to play by the rules and pass on your survival instincts to the next generation.

Get a life ! Yep. YOUR life. It's to late when you're in a box. Wot you gonna' do - send Morse code!

It's too fucken' late then !

Do something now !


The rules are only made by idiots to protect the idiots because the rule makers believe that it is not safe for you to be an idiot on your own.

Safety in numbers dude.

Come on and face it. When did the rule makers ever do anything for you ?

All they ever did was prey upon your insecurities.

And you, in your confusion, decided the rest was the best !

Woops, come on dude. You been thinkin' like them, not you.

A democracy starts from a few, not many !

You wanna roll over and play dead ?

You already are.

It's too late too stop now - unless you don't wanna' wear a seat belt.

Choices, wow !

Shouldn't that not that be what you wanted to teach your kids ? !

Just because they didn't listen, does that mean that you should stop now !

*Please wear a seat-belt and feel relaxed.

Someone is lookin' out for you and hoping you don't make a great big claim against a great big idiot who was stupid enough to bend the rules.

*Democracy protects the innocents and favours the rich.

Whose side do you want to be on ?

Or are you sure you want to take sides ?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Governmentium - A new Element

A newly discovered element is soon to added to the Periodic Table:

Medicare Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has 1 neutron, 1 assistant neutron, 58 opposing neutrons, and 60 deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 120.

These 120 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take between 4 days and 3 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years. It does not decay, but instead it undergoes a re-organization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quality is referred to as "critical morass".

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administration (Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. This whole process is used to keep the populace in a state of disbelief and constant bewilderment.

(* with thanks to an anonymous contributor - Greenduck)

Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Disappearance of my Cents.

One percent of one hundred equals one - one hundred multiplied by one equals one hundred.

I was thinking this when I bought an item in a shop and it cost me $9.99. So, I considered asking for my change from a $10 dollar note. Of course I never would have received it, One cent coins disappeared in 1990 along with their piggy bank chum, the 2 cent coin. Even though they they were no longer minted, they were still legal tender but they were just too expensive to produce and distribute compared to their worth.

Whatever happened to my original one cent - where did it go?

I understand that I can't hold it in my hand as change but somehow it should be mine. It was unjust. The shopkeeper assured me that it was not his profit because many of the items in his shop carried a lower price and the total stock sales averaged out. But I noticed that there were never prices of $9.91 or $9.96. Every transaction is rounded off to the nearest 5 cents. So 1,2,9 and 8 become 0, 3,4,6 and 7 become 5, so who's got the change and where is my one?

It doesn't seem to exist as real tender except when it appears on paper as a digit. Very clever accounting. It's counted but not accounted for.

It was initially considered that the original range of coins introduced in Australia in 1966, at the change to decimal currency, represented the least number of coins required to make any given amount. They were the 1,2,5,10,20 and 50 cent coins. Take any of these out of circulation and out of your pocket and and you must either carry more money or spend more money to get change.

How has my cent disappeared?

The Cent ceased to become significant with the introduction of plastic card money. Bankcard was the first mass produced credit card in 1974 and at its peak membership in 1984, the $1 coin was introduced. The $2 coin came in 1988 and then 'eftpos' in 1989. One and two cent coins stopped in 1990. Bankcard ceased operation in 2006 even though it was created and supported by the largest banks in the country.

What a strange thing that is. My coin cent went missing when plastic money arrived! It no longer counted in my pocket but still added on a receipt, and it had piled up with all the missing others in endless accounting balance sheets for the last thirty years.

But maybe there is a way to get my cent back.

But I need to buy in bulk to increase the value of my dollar whereas the seller makes more profit from selling things individually. If I buy 10 things at 99 cents for $9.90 I get 10 cents change from $10. The shop sold 10 things. If I only buy one thing I lose one cent. They sell 10 things singularly and make ten cents profit over the sale price. There is actually an automatic 1% profit margin in everything that is sold and the only way I will get my one cent change is if I buy 3 things and get 5 cents change. But if I don't, the money disappears.

Who gets the money if I only buy one thing?

Obviously I'm being encouraged to buy in bulk and buy with plastic but there is also something else going on here. If all my cents and your cents are not being repaid and being hoarded somewhere, isn't that theft or fraud or deception? And if all these accumulated cents are being spent some how or where, shouldn't I know about it?

Maybe I do, but I have become so accustomed to the large frivolous money movements orchestrated by banks, countries and economies that I barely notice the small details. Of course there is only one big problem at the moment - it's called a RECESSION and it's the one we had to have to return a semblance of balance back to the economy.

The Great Depression of the 1930's has since been followed by a few minor recessions. But now, the common thread is the inability of the banks to call in loans when the borrower does not have time or money to pay. Worsening future prospects cause the banks to begin refusing loans and start hoarding money and then the downward spiral begins. As Irving Fisher said in 1933, about the mechanics of boom to bust : "A fall in nominal interest rates and a rise in deflation adjusted interest rates."

It is possible that key decisions made by central banks to re-establish the Gold Standard following its abandonment after the First World War was the primary cause of the great depression *(see: Ahamed 2009). The financial crisis that preceeded the great depression began with a stock market crash and spread to the banking system. Whereas the current financial crisis began in the credit markets and then spread to the banking system and the stock market.

A few comparisons indicate some similarities between the severity of the 1933 and the 2007 depressions.

World trade volumes fell by 30% over three years then, but now they have already quickly dropped by 20%. An extended period of strong growth in stock prices before both crises and the falls during the current downturn are of a similar size to those in the first 12 to 18 months of the Great Depression. Gross Domestic Product in OECD countries during the first year of this current depression fell only slightly less than in the first year of the GD *(see: Gruen and Clark 2009).

Highlighting a few comparisons between in actual money value for the same periods will help to illuminate the insanity of the current situation.

Australian Net Debt in 2009 = $647 Billion
USA Net Debt in 2009 = $11.4 Trillion

Australian Exports in 2009 = $123 Billion
USA Exports in 2008 = $1.84 Trillion

Australian Exports in 1933 = 98.7 Million Pounds Sterling
USA Exports in 1933 = $1.7 Billion

$25 in the USA in 1969 would buy the equivalent of $150 in 2010.

In 1969 Richard Nixon abolished the USA Gold Standard. This effectively turned the USA economy into a FIAT economy, ie: no backing for money.

The USA is the only country in the world that enjoys the luxury of paying off its debts in the same currency that it alone can print. It has enjoyed this privilege since 1971 because of its military and economic dominance and because the rest of the world needed to do business in a stable currency and the USA dollar fitted the bill. (*1).

In the 1980's, Reaganomics preached that greed was good and science was no good. At the same time Australian Banks were deregulated. Coincidentally, The $1 coin was also introduced to the currency at that time and was soon followed by the introduction of EFTPOS plastic money transactions.

The price of gold has been rising since 2000 but gold production has not. In late 1998 the gold price was in the mid $200 and annual global production was just under 2500 tonnes per year. Since then the gold price is now up 340% yet production in 2010 is set to be just over 2400 tonnes. (*2).

Compare this chart of Gold versus major currencies over the last ten years:
Commodity currencies, high-saving countries, managed floats, large debt-to-GDP ratios.....none of it mattered, real money beat paper money over the last ten years. (*3).

Has anyone yet noticed a pattern to economic fluctuations in the periods since the Great Depression, the 1960's, the 1980's and 2010?

When Ronald Reagan moved into the White House, total U.S. debt equaled 168% of GDP. The next 27 years took the total to 370%; it was heralded as a triumph of the Anglo-Saxon free enterprise system, but it left people with an additional $27 trillion of debt. (*4).

There are two important factors at play here, INFLATION and DEREGULATION.

Bankers and Accountants the world over know how to manipulate the figures to their advantage. (they really don't deserve to have a capital letter attached to their title, but they are so important people - they like to think!)

How is it that entire countries are hitting the wall?

The list of casualties continues to increase: Iceland, Dubai, United Kingdom, Greece, Spain, Italy. How many more "P.I.G.S." will fall before the entire world needs to re-structure and re-finance?

(Remember: the USA net debt in 2009 was $11.4 Trillion dollars. The UK has just announced cuts in public sector spending by $36 Billion dollars. Please say those figures slowly to realize the true size of the amount of money that is being lost. Also consider that the Europeans and the Americans have differing definitions of Billion and Trillion!).

I keep wondering where all this money is coming from and going to. I am amazed that there are still some people who are actually making fortunes from government mandated schemes such as superannuation, internet banking, investments and the stock market. ( In Australia there is a $1.4 Trillion dollar 'super' honeypot just waiting to be milked).

With plastic money (invisible money) so readily available for everyone to spend over the last 20 years it has been easy to be conned into a false sense of security regarding our actual individual worth. Most individuals, economies and governments don't know how much money they have or even where that money actually is.

The often respected financial accountants are the wizards of the 20th century!

Be very wary of the emperor's new clothes!

Watch out for delusion by stealth and the illusion of wealth.

Inflation, inflation, inflation - the price of everything keeps going up, automatically indexed in tandem with some unknown long since forgotten benchmark.

A case in point. Please let me illustrate by considering the real value of one of the oldest currencies in the world, the Lire, and one of the newest currencies in the world, the Euro.

The smallest coin in the Italian currency is 50 Lire. This is equivalent to USA 2.58 cents. The smallest banknote is 1000 Lire which is equivalent to 0.5 of the Euro (the Lire originally represented 1 pound weight of silver, like the pound sterling).

1 Euro = 1.58 $ Australian dollar.
$100 Australian dollars = 127,297.88 Italian lire before 1999.
$100 Australian dollars = 0.08 XAU gold ounces.

Do you see what is really happening here?

Because the government economies are slaves to inflation, they need to continually adjust their exchange rates to stay in the race. Your money is always not worth what you thought it was!

Plastic money, ie: any card transactions, is a very clever instrument for disguising the real value of what you just spent.

Clearing times for cheques and internet banking transactions are illusory.

The wizards of finance have perpetuated a myth that financial transactions are not instant. The reality is that they are instant, but just not for you or me.

You better believe it - someone, somewhere, somehow, has found a way to spend those cents, make a profit on them and return the original amount to your account.

This should not be a legal way to do business - it is fraud and deception.

If $1 AUD = 1272.9788 Lire before 1999, how much of this value actually disappeared with the conversion to the Euro? And where did it go and who has it? It has to be somewhere. Those anally obsessed accountants would not let such a trifling amount slip through their fingers. Or would they if they could? It's very likely they found the way to disguise the loss by clever manipulation of one of the basic Keynesian principles of generating economic growth for governments: "Hire people to dig holes and fill them up."

We were conned! Governments have enforced inflation and taxation by stealth so as to manipulate the false economies presented by the bean counters. Stock markets, the Dow Jones Index, time zone differences, daily fluctuations in exchange rates, the abolition of the gold standard, easy credit plastic card money and the obsession with turnovers instead of profit, and the policies of greed have catapulted all of us into the greatest recession the world has ever experienced.

Do not be deceived by the spin doctors. The economy of the entire world is sick, and the medicine that our governments pump into the ailing patient is still called HELP but it is really only CREDIT.

The patient cannot be revived with bad medicine - it is not dead - but in limbo, where it will stay until democracy realizes that BIG BROTHER is manipulating us all.

Where is all the money that is being promised that will revive our economy coming from?

Yep, now I know. All those cents that have been rounded up or down. All that money that is counted but not accounted for. All that credit card plastic money. All that money that doesn't really exist but we are encouraged to spend - complacent as we revel in the luxury of greed.

Someone knows were all those missing cents are and they are hell bent on spending them.

I'm as mad as hell and I want MY cents back!

Do you want YOURS?


*1 - Daily Reckoning, 16.03.10
*2 - Daily Reckoning, 16.12.09
*3 - Daily Reckoning, 06.01.10
*4 - Daily Reckoning, 11.05.09).

And finally, I would like to suggest the address of a web-site that will help you keep track of your missing cents :

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Nature of One

Pythagorean doctrines included a belief that the ultimate reality of the universe consists in number. They regarded even numbers as female and odd numbers as male. The number 5 was called 'marriage' because it was the product of the first even number 2 and the first odd number 3. The reason being that the ancient Greeks considered the number 1 a unit and not a proper number, which had to express a multiplicity.

Greek alchemists symbolized totality as a circle, an image of the global unity of everything that exists and can be conceived. Their reasoning led them away from unity and back gain, to use it as basis on which to 'assess the value of things'.

Unity is therefore the point of departure, a symbol of absolute origin and absolute end (universe means 'turned towards one'). But if singularity is the origin then duality must be the end!

The singular cannot exist without the plural. One cannot exist without two. A necessary definition of one is that to have 'one of a thing' really means to have one of a number of things, at a minimum, two. To 'have one of' there must be another.
There must be plural 'one', a pair of or a few or several or more - otherwise it is just have the 'thing', it would not need to be assigned a numerical value. It would be on its own in a singular state of existence - one of. But to be 'one of' it must have 'another of' just like it.

For example; If there is only one 'pen', I have a pen; it is not necessary to assign a number value 'one of' , as if to ask the question "is there another"? Therefore to give it value of existence, numerically it only exists if there is another. One cannot exist without two.

It is a world of duality. We are a body of two limbs, two eyes and two halves of the brain, two halves of the cell, a sum of two parents. There even seem to be two Gods reigning over good and evil - but I'm in two minds about this. There cannot be one without the other. Yin and Yang, proton and neutron, up and down, go and stop, heaven and hell, backwards and forwards, light and dark.

For each force there is an equal and opposite reaction. The fabric of time itself is a slave to multiplicity. 'One' can only exist if the 'other' also does.

A final word - ENTROPY - the natural order or the universe to find balance. A balance only exists between 'two' things not 'one'.