I have two cucumbers here
And an electric toothbrush that I fear.
I have an erection under way
Costing me over a thousand dollars a day.
I have an obsession with making decisions
That may make it easy for me
To lubricate my way
In my search for you.
I have a field of monuments
Erected daily to fuel my greed
Wet and greasy nights dealing the blues
Endless nightmares dreaming of you.
I have an arrangement of tools
Endlessly charged to help make you happy
Just take a walk to my counter
Swaying your hips but just make it snappy.
I know a party of fools
Who drool over young girls in schools
But this is not how I think of you
My love for you is hard statuesque and true.